I have a confession to make: I am a recovering “yes” person.
If I had a dollar for every time I did something that I didn’t want to do because I didn’t want people to be angry or disappointed, I would be a rich woman.
I say that I am recovering because, as with any ingrained pattern, sometimes I slip back into the tendency to put other people’s wants before myself and my needs.
Luckily, there are some ways that you can start to manage your “choosing” tendencies.
Here are a few of the most effective actions and mindset shifts that have worked for me and my clients:
- Take a minute to choose what you truly want to do. It’s ok to say “Can I get back to you after I check my calendar?”.
- Accept that you may feel uncomfortable when you say “No” to something the first few times.
- Start setting some boundaries.
- Let go of the people who use your people pleaser tendencies on purpose.
Remember, this is a process and if you slip back into old behaviors don’t be too hard on yourself.
But do keep going, your life and self-esteem will be much better as a result!
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Tori Goodrich is a life, business and professional; What Should I Do Now coach. She is also the co-owner of Gener8tional Connections helping companies work through the great divide. Visit her on the web at www.victoriagoodrich.com, or reach her via email at [email protected].
