Please help me understand why our underlying “fear” issue confronts us all at one time. This past week was challenging. One of the tools in my toolbox is to ask myself, “what is the underlying issue or feeling” when I am feeling anxious, angry, stressed, or am procrastinating.

Tension or pain in our bodies is an indicator that our life is out of balance. Take a few moments to focus on something peaceful. Identify the place in your body that is tense. Breathe. Ask yourself the question what is going on in my life that I am avoiding. Breathe deeply again.

Vulnerability and honesty with ourselves is key. Most times, you will discover fear. And as human beings, we work hard to avoid that fear. Behavioral symptoms of fear could be procrastinating, overworking, addiction, eating too many comfort foods, sleeping too much, insomnia or even heart issues. Remember our bodies break down when placed under too much pressure.

Fear also keeps us stuck. Fear keeps us from sharing our thoughts during a meeting, allows us to be passed over for a promotion that we know was earned, confronting a coworker who takes credit for our work, and sometimes keep us at the office too late because we procrastinated during the day or came in late to work.

The positive side of fear is feeling successful and confident. Repeat this to yourself several times a day, “even though I feel afraid, I will.” End that sentence with what you want to accomplish. Fear is motivating. Take that feeling and use it for positive.

Accomplish your goal, confront your coworker, speak up and share your opinion during the next staff meeting. When fear is managed, we feel proud of ourselves. Hold onto that and allow it to help you continue to move forward in your professional and person lives.

A colleague of mine recommended the book by Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Purchase it. Reading this book is well worth your time. Charles Shulz, one of my favorite author said, “be yourself; no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong.”

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Tina L. O’Connor, MS, NCC is a Licensed Professional Counselor who has a private counseling practice in Parkesburg. Tina attended college in Phoenixville and West Chester. Tina and her husband Doug have three amazing adult stepchildren and two beautiful grandchildren. Tina can be reached at Experience Positive Therapy via telephone at (610) 857-8089 or email at exppostherapy1@verizon.net.
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