As a parent, knowing what your teen is thinking would be a dream. When you ask questions about how school is going, how they’re getting along with their friends, or what they want for their birthday, you may often be left craving more insight into what makes your teen tick.

Much to their dismay, parents can’t read their teen’s minds. For example, it might be frustrating and even dangerous to be left in the dark about your teenager’s relationship with food.

Fortunately, there are ways to gauge their relationship with food. By doing so, you can help your teen eat healthy, avoid disordered eating (unusual eating habits such as dieting, fasting, and avoiding specific food groups), and, if necessary, get support for an eating disorder. 

Here are 3 ways to gauge your teen’s relationship with food — and what you can do if you’re concerned:

1. Pay Attention to (But Don’t Control) What They Eat

There’s a difference between paying attention to your teen’s diet and watching over everything they eat. As a parent, knowing their eating habits is the first step to understanding their relationship with food. At the same time, it’s important to give them some independence in this area.

“Instead of focusing on each food item at every meal, watch for patterns in your teen’s eating habits,” said Jason Komasz, MD, Medical Director, CHOP Newborn and Pediatric Care at Chester County Hospital. “For instance, skipping breakfast on occasion isn’t a major concern. But repeatedly skipping meals is another story.”

In addition to cutting meals from their day, look out for other concerns, such as:

• Eating mostly processed foods or foods with a lot of added sugar (like soda and ice cream), saturated fats (like lunch meat and baked goods), and sodium (like pizza and desserts)
• Changing how much, what, and when they eat
• Creating regimented routines around eating
• Expressing dissatisfaction with their weight or body
• Fluctuating unusually in weight
• Exercising a lot more than usual
• Using the bathroom more frequently and for longer periods of time

2. Discuss Food in a Productive Way

Communication is key to understanding your teen’s relationship with food. It helps you see things from their point of view and creates a stronger connection between you and your teen—a crucial aspect of your teen’s long-term well-being.

“Keep the focus on how food plays a role in their health — not about weight,” said Pediatric Nurse Brett Francis, BSN, RN, CPN. “Discussions about weight and numbers on the scale can lead to unhealthy weight-control habits both now and as your teen ages.”

Instead, use natural moments, such as while preparing lunches or eating dinner, to discuss how certain foods help their bodies. You might discuss how vegetables support their health by protecting against infections and lowering their risk of serious health problems, like heart disease. Meanwhile, constantly eating foods with a lot of sodium (like cheeseburgers, pasta, and deli meat) can cause things like headaches and heart problems later in life.

It can be helpful to connect their diet to something they’re interested in, such as a sport or role in the school play. Getting enough calories and the right kinds of nutrients, like protein and carbohydrates, will give them the energy they need to perform at their best.

Don’t forget to ask questions, too, such as what their favorite foods are and how those foods make them feel. For instance, eating a lot of sugary snacks might taste good at the moment, but it’s likely to lead to a stomachache later on.

3. Model a Healthy Relationship with Food — and Monitor Your Teen’s Reaction

Children and teens are incredibly perceptive. If you have an unhealthy relationship with food (such as expressing worry about your weight or frequently going on diets), they may pick up on these habits.

As a parent, it’s your responsibility to model what a healthy relationship with food looks like. Avoid restrictive diets, and embrace a variety of foods. Express pleasure from certain foods, but show that you can stop when you’re full. Exercise regularly, and talk about how good it makes you feel.

Keep an eye on your teen’s reaction to your behaviors. If they seem surprised or curious about a particular approach to eating, be open about your thoughts. If they exhibit concerning reactions, such as guilt surrounding overeating, a desire to skip meals, or an obsession with calories, it might be time for a more direct conversation about healthy eating.

Also, make sure to buy well-rounded groceries, and try to limit the amount of processed foods you keep in the house. This can help everyone adopt healthy eating habits. 

Seeking Professional Support for Your Teen’s Eating Habits

You’ll do anything to keep your teen healthy both physically and emotionally. If you’re worried about your teen’s relationship with food, express your concerns gently but honestly. Remind them you are always in their corner, and that you want to keep them healthy now and long-term.

If your concerns persist, it may be time to get support from a professional. Your child’s pediatrician is a great resource for teens to build a healthy relationship with food and avoid unhealthy habits both now and down the road.

Next Steps

Do you have concerns about your teen’s relationship with food? Make an appointment with their Chester County Hospital pediatrician to discuss ways to support your teen and their healthy eating. 

Learn more about Chester County Hospital, a 329-bed inpatient complex in West Chester. Its outpatient services extend to satellite locations in nearby Exton, West Goshen, New Garden, Jennersville, and Kennett Square.