According to Orpah, all your arguments come down to 3 things.
When Oprah spoke on career, life and leadership at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, she said that all our arguments come down to three questions, and three questions only:
- Do you hear me? (are you present to what I am saying)
- Do you see me? (notice my body language and eye contact)
- Did what I say mean anything to you? (or did you make a decision or judgement before I even finished what I was saying)
These questions ask whether you are truly listening and do you care about what I am trying to tell you.
Notice that once someone feels that you are truly being present and listening … the game changes. The person relaxes, their tone softens and discussions suddenly seems more understood. And most importantly, you both breathe.
In today’s world of constant information and sensory input, it’s imperative to slow down a little and think about connecting with a person or group in a different way.
Yes, the information highway gives us a lot of wonderful things but that one on one, eye to eye, listening with your full attention is becoming a learned art.
I am certified in “Taking Flight” created by Merrick Rosenberg where we teach seminars identifying others’ behavioral styles and how to speak and communicate with them in the way “they” need to be spoken to (in their behavioral style).
These seminars are fun and truly transformative. Each person has their own unique way of communicating and when you honor how they interpret information; you can truly connect.
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Tori Goodrich is a life, business and professional; What Should I Do Now coach. She is also the co-owner of Gener8tional Connections helping companies work through the great divide. Visit her on the web at www.victoriagoodrich.com, or reach her via email at [email protected].
