By Dara & Brad Trout
Holiday visits can often bring out the need for a little extra help for elderly parents.
For adult children living at any significant distance from their aging parents, communication throughout the year is often via phone calls and email. It can be difficult to identify changes in the parents’ capabilities and needs on these types of interactions.
But, often these adult children make annual extended visits to their aging parents sometime between Thanksgiving and New Years to celebrate the holidays. During these visits, it is often much easier to pick up on additional needs the parents may have as they age in their homes. Here are some signs you can look for:
Your parent’s home is not kept up as well as it had previously been. This can result from something as simple as their inability to do the chores, small repairs, vacuuming, and scrubbing as they once did. Or it can be as serious as dementia setting in where they no longer even recognize the need to do these types of tasks.
Your parent’s car has new scrapes and dents. This scenario can result from changes in vision, distance perception, reaction times, reduced judgment, or even dementia. Some of these problems (e.g vision problems) may be treated if the need is identified, or may be a sign of more serious disease (e.g. glaucoma or dementia). In the most severe situations, it may be time to discuss “retiring from driving.”
Your parent’s hygiene is not as good as it once was. Fear of falling in the bathtub or shower; inability to reach back, legs, or hair; or denial of the need to complete personal care can be among the many reasons for these changes.
Your parent is more confused or forgetful than in the past. Many changes with aging can cause these types of symptoms. Of course, everyone jumps first to Alzheimer’s Disease or dementia when this occurs. But it could be much simpler and easily treated. For example, dehydration, certain low-grade infections, depression, or increased use of alcohol can cause these symptoms as well.
So, what do you do if you see any of these changes in your elderly parent? The first step is to gently discuss your observations with your parent. It may not be ideal to do it over Christmas dinner. But a quiet evening when everyone is relaxed can be a good time to bring up what you are noticing.
If the changes you notice in an elderly parent are mainly physical, try something like, “Mom, I would imagine that you would want me to tell you if I saw some changes in you since last year? I’m noticing it’s harder for you to get some of your chores done around the house. Maybe we could look into getting you a little help to make it easier to live here?”
If you notice changes in thinking or mood, you could suggest that your parent takes advantage of Medicare’s annual wellness visit (it’s new as of a few years ago and is totally free), “just to make sure everything is OK.” Then, you should call your parent’s doctor to report what you are seeing in advance of the appointment.
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For more information or help with any of your senior home care needs, in Northern Chester County contact Dara or Brad Trout at (610) 590-4888 or via email at [email protected]. In Southern Chester County contact Gertie Mourar at (484) 366-2521 or shs@apathwayfor seniors.com. You can also visit Seniors Helping Seniors blog on senior care topics on the web at www.seniorcareexton.com/blog and you can refer any caregivers interested in part time employment to http://seniorcareexton.com/Want-to-Help.html
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Top photo credit: Windswept via photopin (license)
