Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

This quote has been posted on several social media sites to help us remember the people of Paris and the tragedy that occurred this past weekend.

Please take a moment to reflect on the above quote and how it might fit into your practice of gratitude this month. For most of us, it is so easy to feel angry and scared because of terrorism. And as we were all taught in school, two wrongs do not make a right.

But, oh, sometimes we believe, it would feel so awesome to treat someone the same way they treated us. But this perspective does not really solve the problem. Doing as Mr. King suggested is what solves the problem. This takes consistent resolve.

Your boss forgets to give you credit for a project. A coworker borrows money and does not pay you back. You are passed over for a promotion because of your gender, culture, religious beliefs, etc. All of these scenarios can create, fear, anxiety, and depression.

We have a choice we can be assertive or aggressive. Assertive is standing up for ourselves without harming another person (even with words) and aggressive is, “I will hurt you as much as you have harmed me.”

Obviously, being assertive fits in much better with gratitude. Practicing gratitude and being assertive is a conscious choice. Every day that you practice gratitude develops a positive perspective.

There are things about life we cannot change; every day issues such as those listed above and world-wide issues such as terrorism. But we have to start somewhere.

And that starting place is within ourselves. Practicing gratitude helps us manage anxiety, depression, and fear. It helps us be kind to those persons we work with and our families. It helps us breathe.

This week let’s continue to focus on those people and things that help us feel grateful. Reflect on the conscious decision you are making and allow the peace that comes with it to influence all of your relationships.

Please remember that as Dr. King suggested, gratitude, choosing to be a light, and love are all assertive, intentional choices.

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Tina L. O’Connor, MS, NCC is a Licensed Professional Counselor who has a private counseling practice in Parkesburg. Tina attended college in Phoenixville and West Chester. Tina and her husband Doug have three amazing adult stepchildren and two beautiful grandchildren. Tina can be reached at Experience Positive Therapy via telephone at (610) 857-8089 or email at exppostherapy1@verizon.net.

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Top photo credit: Il neige sur Paris via photopin (license)