• Weekend Wanderer: A Spooky October Tale

    Weekend Wanderer: A Spooky October Tale

    Jack O’Lanterns blaze fiery grins.  Spirits prepare for All Hallows Eve.  So.  How about a creepy little tale?  Good horror — Amityville, The Exorcist, The Strangers — is at least based on a true story.  So rest, well, not assured. Disturbed, maybe? Yeah. Rest disturbed this story is completely true.  Growing up, my older cousin…

  • Weekend Wanderer: I Spent the Day in Baltimore. I Have No Idea What I Did While I Was There

    Weekend Wanderer: I Spent the Day in Baltimore. I Have No Idea What I Did While I Was There

    After spending two Fridays straightening out her finances, I had a very grateful Willie on my hands.  Willie’s finances — how do I put this?   Well, recently, I watched all of The Exorcist sequels.  I had to, guys. My horror podcast is working its way through The Exorcist films. To prepare for the new Exorcist…

  • Weekend Wanderer: Do I Want to Live Somewhere Rural? 

    Weekend Wanderer: Do I Want to Live Somewhere Rural? 

    Something disturbing happened to me last week.  Wait. That’s not accurate.   I did something disturbing last week.  Yes. That’s better. I did something disturbing. Something I don’t understand.   You see — well — you guys know my husband’s family has a cabin.  And you know how I feel about that cabin.  It’s not that I…

  • Weekend Wanderer: Spending a Week with Thailand

    Weekend Wanderer: Spending a Week with Thailand

    I promise this isn’t another column about scuba.  But.  Given my aquatic adventures of late, I am obsessed with two cinematic genres.  The first is scuba and scuba-adjacent horror movies.   “Should you be watching this?” my husband sighed as I watched Blake Lively’s battle for survival against a shark oblivious to any food that wasn’t…

  • Weekend Wanderer: Getting on a Parent’s Bad Side

    Weekend Wanderer: Getting on a Parent’s Bad Side

    I’ve entered a new quadrant of the Willie Universe.  The likelihood that someone I know could wind up living in the apartment next to Willie has got to be slim, right?  But the likelihood this situation could ruin my life is a guarantee.  It all starts with my daughter.  Wasn’t I just saying last week…

  • Weekend Wanderer: The Cold Shower Trend Became More Than a Trend

    Weekend Wanderer: The Cold Shower Trend Became More Than a Trend

    I think having kids made my life better.  Wait.   Do I? Yeah. Yes. I do. Made my life better, made me a better person. Yeah.   Sure.  Take this summer. I drove my kids to New Jersey on 31 separate days this summer. One day, I drove to New Jersey twice — two entirely different directions. …

  • Weekend Wanderer: Your Day Is Not Your Own. Get Used to It

    Weekend Wanderer: Your Day Is Not Your Own. Get Used to It

    Is it possible to say I got Willied without it sounding sordid?   Because there was really nothing sordid about it.   It was, however, a typical day in the Willie Universe.  It started when Willie told me she needed to make a Staples run. Someone would have to take her.   Someone.   Meaning me.  Instead, I suggested…

  • Weekend Wanderer: Don’t Make Me Scuba Dive, The Conclusion

    Weekend Wanderer: Don’t Make Me Scuba Dive, The Conclusion

    I think scuba is a metaphor for life.   Also, I think scuba doesn’t really exist. Like the idea that humanity is just a simulation, so too, I feel, is scuba.  See, every lesson in scuba settles on one edict — slow, focused breathing powers your dive.   Focused breathing keeps divers neutrally buoyant — the desired…

  • Weekend Wanderer: My Daughter Is Applying to College, and I’m Not OK

    Weekend Wanderer: My Daughter Is Applying to College, and I’m Not OK

    I was driving down Street Road in Bucks County recently when I saw — Sorry. I have to take a deep breath or this story will be peppered with four-letter words.   And one seven-letter word.  And two eight-letter words.   I saw a kid — a teenager — sitting in the open window of a car…

  • Weekend Wanderer: Road-Trip Car Games … to Play by Yourself

    Weekend Wanderer: Road-Trip Car Games … to Play by Yourself

    So there I was, driving eight hours to drop off my kid at camp.  Then driving eight hours home by myself.  Three days later, I’d embark on that same trip in reverse — eight hours alone in the car, then eight hours with my daughter on the drive home from camp.  The eight-hour drive didn’t…

  • Weekend Wanderer: I Left My Kid at Camp

    Weekend Wanderer: I Left My Kid at Camp

    So my kid is at sleepaway camp.  Yep. I drove through four states to leave my kid with strangers for five days.  Are you guys having trouble breathing? Because I’m having trouble breathing. Strangers! I left my kid with strangers!  I thought leaving my dog in a kennel was hard. But this?   This is a…

  • Weekend Wanderer: I Fell. Is This the Beginning of the End?

    Weekend Wanderer: I Fell. Is This the Beginning of the End?

    I turned the lock on the storm door.   You know the one — it won’t engage without a forceful inward jerk, an even more forceful twist of the lock, and about seven expletives.  I turn this lock often in the evening. I have an old beagle with an old prostate who feels the best time…

  • Weekend Wanderer: Indiana Jones, by Way of Maryland 

    Weekend Wanderer: Indiana Jones, by Way of Maryland 

    What do the new Indiana Jones movie, my spiraling refrigerator, and Indy’s Maryland property have in common?  The answer is a story and then some.  I would start at the beginning, but I don’t know where that is, exactly. It might start in the ’50s, when Indy bought the Maryland property.  It might start with…

  • Weekend Wanderer: I’m Too Picky About My Showers

    Weekend Wanderer: I’m Too Picky About My Showers

    Now that my husband is all Buddy the Elf about making friends in his outdoors organization, I have met many people.  Many, many people.  I have friends all over the country. And one acquaintance in Canada. Or maybe he’s just from Canada. I don’t know. But he makes me look like a better cook so…

  • Weekend Wanderer: Why Does My Mom Keep Misplacing Checks?

    Weekend Wanderer: Why Does My Mom Keep Misplacing Checks?

    It’s been a bit since we had a Willie story.   We should probably check in on her.  Our check-in begins this morning, when I was recounting to my husband the plot of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.  He was, as you might imagine, enthralled. If there is one thing better than watching a ’90s…

  • Weekend Wanderer: The Death of the Refrigerator, Part Two

    Weekend Wanderer: The Death of the Refrigerator, Part Two

    When I last left you, I had saved my fridge but decimated the freezer.  But I made a bet I could save that freezer. And I had come this far in my quest to avoid pronouncing the refrigerator dead.  I wasn’t ready to quit.   When I originally pulled the refrigerator from the wall, finding a…

  • Weekend Wanderer: The Refrigerator Is Trying to Die

    Weekend Wanderer: The Refrigerator Is Trying to Die

    One day in 2017, Indy pulled my fridge from its kitchen nook.  I was in trouble.  Upon discovering my failure to periodically clean behind and beneath the fridge, Indy told me he’d be over to be sure I got the job done.  I should have been able to get that fridge out myself.   But I…

  • Weekend Wanderer: (Not) Planning a Family Vacation

    Weekend Wanderer: (Not) Planning a Family Vacation

    I fly to Scotland in 72 hours. Sealed in a metal tube 30,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean.  Where the Titanic sank.  You know how I feel about sunken ships. I feel no less animosity toward them when they’re beneath my plane.   Or, you know, next to it.  Throw in some snakes and that situation…