At Home, Resist the Urge to Fight Over Politics!

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By Wendi Rank

Some people load dishwashers haphazardly. You know the kind. These riffraff give no thought to the economy of space or direction of water spray. Glasses placed erratically. Silverware cuddling in the utensil rack.

We all know such miscreants. I called them people, which is generous. They’re really monsters, traipsing through the world in blissful ignorance of the mess they leave for normal dishwasher loaders like you and me.

I happen to be married to such an individual. Am I Herculean in my ability to survive such living conditions? Not really. We just have an uneasy truce. He loads the dishwasher only in a misguided effort to “help” me. I fix the inhumanity he has leveled against my china, silently bearing my burden.

Fortunately, our politics are not as different as our use of household appliances. Jeanne Safer is a Manhattan psychologist. She and her husband back different political parties yet have maintained a successful marriage for over forty years.

I bet she’s the one who loads the dishwasher properly in her house.

Dr. Safer spoke with Elizabeth Bernstein of The Wall Street Journal. They discussed loving someone with opposing political views. Dr. Shafer’s advice hews closely to my survival through years of dishwasher horrors. Curiously, she skips over the disgruntled sighing.

Dr. Safer recommends we consider that just like that load of dishes is one moment in time, so too is the election. Skip the political discussion if it leads to fighting. But, if you can both keep an open mind, discussing your differences might make you better people.

For the record, I am not willing to discuss alternate methods of dishwasher-loading. There is a right way. And there is a wrong way.

It’s key to remember, Dr. Safer tells Bernstein, friction arises from frustration that someone close to you doesn’t share your viewpoint. Our beliefs don’t have to be identical to our loved ones’ beliefs. That doesn’t get my knives clean, but I’m not above handwashing a dish now and again for the sake of harmony.

Refrain from trying to change your opponent’s opinion. It’s as wasted an effort as getting my husband to pre-rinse. Dr. Safer says you’ll only succeed in making everyone resentful. So leave the poorly loaded dishwasher alone. Enjoy each other’s company instead.

Above all, do not watch political coverage with your dissenter. I would never load a dishwasher with my husband, and you should never watch a debate with your political opposite. Watch Outlander instead. Its politics ended three hundred years ago and people get naked all the time.

Trust me. You’ll have a far better evening.

Bernstein’s full article can be found here.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Wendi Rank is a Willow Grove native with a graduate degree from LaSalle University. She has worked as a school nurse, a registered nurse and a nurse practitioner in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. She has previously written for the journal Nursing.

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